


Percy blames the onesie

by whimsicality15



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Based on a Tumblr Post, Everyone just happens to be a whovian, F/F, F/M, M/M, Percy is a Dork
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-11 09:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3321755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicality15/pseuds/whimsicality15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yes. I am standing outside of my dorm in a Winnie the Pooh onesie, watching everything else that I know and love go up into flames. But standing next to me is an Italian god, smirking at my choice of clothing. He can't really talk, since he's just...wearing...TARDIS boxers.......shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic that I decided to post on a whim while I am at home sick. If you see this and like it, gimme some love, please! <3
> 
> DISCLAIMER- All characters in this work belong to Rick Riordan unless otherwise specified. I am not profiting in any way from this work.

~PERCY POV~

It just had to happen on the one night I had finally gotten some sleep, didn't it? YES WELL THANKS FOR THAT GODS. I had actually went to sleep at 12, the earliest I've gone to sleep in forever and I fully expected to wake up at 6 so I could run over to my friend Leo's room in the apartments nearby and mooch cereal. But of course, the smoke detector went off at 3. JUST LOVELY. Some idiots thought it would be a marvelous idea to throw their flaming socks into the dumpster right next to the dorm and then pour oil on it. YUP YOU GUYS SUCK. NEVER REPRODUCE. But in spite of all this, I was okay. I had grabbed most of my paintings and my laptop. But the most unforgivable sin? ALL OF MY DOCTOR WHO DVDS ARE GONE NOW. FROM THE 1ST TO MY BABY MATT SMITH. THIS CAN NEVER BE REPAID. 

Yes, you may argue that I did get out of there alive, with most of my prized possessions. You may even go so far as to say that I did have my favorite Winnie the Pooh onesie on with Ten's sonic stashed in the pocket. But that collection of DVDs was what kept me going, my drive to stay sane. It was my bond with my mom, the thing that sparked my imagination. And now it's just *gone*. I sighed. Most people would think I was overreacting, wouldn't they? I felt someone stand closer to me. I wiped away my tears and tried to be strong as I valiantly looked far off into the distance. But then this little bitch had the nerve to snicker.

My face went red, all the way up to my ears. I heard them muffling more giggles until they took their hands away from their mouth and full out LAUGHED. I was indignant. I whipped around to face this person and peered at them questioningly. I had never seen this guy in my life. What right did he have to laugh at my pain? I looked at him up and down. Alright he was okay looking, I'll give him that. Dark ruffled hair, black eyes, olive skin, apparently deep voice, ripped abs-WAIT. NO SHIRT? I stared at him longer then. I looked down even further. He was only wearing boxers but it was too dark to see what they were. I gathered my wits about me and said, "Well, looks like you have no room to laugh, do you?". Why does he seem confused? I pressed on, "You know, because you're only wearing boxers." He brightened and practically sang, "No, no, I was just thinking how adorable you looked in that onesie." OH SWEET BABYCAKES, HE'S ITALIAN. I stuttered out, "O-oh yeah, not as good as you look in those boxers." He looked pleasantly surprised. GOSH DARN IT PERCY, THAT IS CALLED FLIRTING. NONONO I CANNOT DO THIS. 

He said, "Well, we've already established that we both look attractive in our choices of clothing. Now to see who is the bigger nerd?". What is he talking about? It's me, isn't it? I replied, "What do your boxers have on them?". I bent down and looked closer. They were dark blue and had white prints of something like a box flying. I WOULD KNOW WHAT THAT WAS IF I WAS BLIND AND ON MY DEATHBED. I grabbed his hips and hugged his legs to scream out, "IT'S THE TARDIS." I'm sure that by this point, I had to have heart eyes. I heard him nervously chuckle and say, "You're quite forward for someone so into Winnie the Pooh. I usually wait until the third date to show someone my boxers so we are moving quickly, no? You should at least know my name. It's Nico di Angelo."

I stood up so fast that my Tigger tail flopped around. My throat was dry as I struggled to turn around and retain my dignity. He sighed and said, "Please, I'm sorry. I'm new here and all of my stuff just went up into a fire too. I don't know what to do. Tell me your name?". He looked so sad, like a kicked puppy. The fire blazed on. I looked at him sideways. I already knew this guy was a fellow Whovian, the least I could do was tell him my name, right? "Yes, okay, alright." I sighed as I turned around. I flipped up my hood and said "Percy. Percy Jackson.", as I sauntered away. I stumbled on the pavement five steps away. "OH SHIT, are you okay?!", he yelled. I stood up and sniffled. "Just peachy, man, just peachy."


	2. Nico loves a challenge....but not without WIFI man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy cheesenips guys! Was not expecting this much love in such a short amount of time! :) I literally have no idea what I'm doing, so if y'all have suggestions, I'm all ears! 
> 
> This chapter will be in Nico's POV.
> 
> DISCLAIMER~ Everything belongs to Rick Riordan unless I specify otherwise. I'm not getting anything from this work.

~NICO POV~

Well, this situation was certainly new. I have never been somewhere without a place to stay before. Yes, I have been traveling to both Italy and New York all my life but there was always somewhere to stay and have a home with my family. Well, that is, if it was much of a family. I sigh. "Not the best time, Nico.", I mutter into my coffee. I'm at the coffee bar on campus at NYU called The Uncommon Cup, which it wasn't. The coffee was about as shitty as my life at the moment.

Normally, I would know what to do in this situation. I would call my dad and we could find a place to stay for me. Now, well, it's not so simple. My dad's pissed at me so there goes that route and I don't know anyone well enough to crash at their place while my dorm is being rebuilt. So, here I am, filling out roommate applications, in the hope that someone would have pity on me. The choices that I have here are horrendous. There's one guy who is a reptile enthusiast with a specialty in snakes. Nope, I think, not that one, especially not after that one time with the snake and the peanut butter. I shudder. The next has a picture with his all male accapella group dressed in pink...NOPE. I may like what he has down under but not all over him. Onto the third guy.....hmmmmm....he looks normal enough. Blue eyes, blonde hair, nice smile, crinkled up nose. "Will Solace," I read, "Conditions: must be willing to be friend with benefi-." My face is blank as I crinkle up his paper. I stand up to throw my coffee and his picture in the trash where it belongs and walk outside. It's a beautiful albeit blustery day and the trees are just beginning to show the first signs of frost. WINTER IS COMING. My eyes widen. No....it's impossible....I don't have a TV or a laptop right now. I can't watch....Game of Thrones?!? "SHIT, I WAS JUST STARTING SEASON 3!", I moan into my hands. I look up with a determined gleam in my eyes. I MUST GET A ROOMMATE OR I WILL DIE. I start to persistently walk forward just as someone is walking right into me.

I catch him as his eyes bore into mine and surprise, surprise. It's the cutie from before. What was his name? Peter Johnson? Paul Jones? "Agh, it's you again, you lil Italian mobster.", he says. I blink in surprise. This guy really has no filter, does he. But at least it helps me remember that this handsome jackass is named Percy. "Why do you think I'm a mobster?", I frown. He huffs and keeps walking as I struggle to keep up. "Jeez, no reason, maybe the fact that you're Italian and rich looking and suave and sexy." he replies as he rolls his eyes. I stop as he slowly turns around with a bright blush on his face.

"Forget that last one. I'm leaving.", aannnnnddd he fell again. He grumbles. "What are you in such a hurry for?", I smirk at him and offer a hand. He refuses it and gets up while dusting himself off. "Maybe you forgot that our dorm has burned down because you seem like you don't need much help to do things but I sure as hell haven't and the only way I'm going to afford this tuition is if I either become the sexiest male stripper this world has ever seen or get a roommate, preferably not a psychopath. Now, get out of my way before I sonic you.", this adorable enigma replies. "Well, I actually have not forgotten that our dorm has burned down, especially because I myself need a roommate too.", I explain.

His eyes narrow. "Cute try, but I'm not falling for it. For all I know, you're a crazy person that wants to sell my sexy bod into your weird Italian prostitution ring.", he snorts. "Well, what if I was. I think you would still room with me, just because of the fact that we've already established.", I grin. "What's that, nerd?", he asks with no small hints of confusion. I bend down and breathe into his ear, "Voi pensate che io sia attraente,no?" as he shivers. "I DO NOT SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE", he yells into my face. I chuckle, "Lo so, questo è ciò che rende questo divertente." "Oh yeah," he says as his eyes get dark, "I can speak another language too." I'm surprised, "Really? What is it?". "Mmmhmm, it's called KISS MY ASS, Ανόητος!" he yells as he storms away. Huh, he can speak Greek. Oh god, what a cutie. I chuckle. This will be fun. But as he goes to pin up his request, I realize that SHIT I STILL DON'T HAVE A ROOMMATE. 

I will get Percy Jackson if it's the last thing I do. Which, it will be, if I don't know what happens in GoT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, sorry if any of y'all like Will, I do too actually but in this fic, he's just very horny. ;) He may come back with someone else, we shall see...
> 
> Nico speaks Italian but Percy can hold his own in Greek, whoop, there's backstory there
> 
> Nico~ You think I am attractive, no? ~ I know, that's what makes this fun.
> 
> Percy~ Idiot.


	3. In which Percy finds that he just can't avoid Nico, dammit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Here is the third chapter, hope you enjoy it! Longer than the other two!! :)
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Everything here belongs to Rick Riordan, unless I specify otherwise. I am not receiving anything from this work.

~PERCY POV~

The sunlight streamed in the small room like it was a blaring fog horn. The dust particles danced in it softly. I stirred and groaned, trying to blink the sleep out of my eyelids. My mouth felt crustier that a loaf of bread. I looked down at myself wondering why I was so uncomfortable. I groaned even louder when I remembered the past few days. I was currently occupying a bath tub that reeked of alcohol and...what else? I sniffed suspiciously until I looked outside the bath tub and moaned loudly. There was my friend Leo, laying in a puddle of his vomit? My vomit? A mix of both?? I grimaced and turned away from his drooling face. I had to find tylenol before I died of this headache. My eyes searched, looking all over the room, until I found it in the open medicine cabinet. I smirked and muttered, "Eureka." Now how did my legs work again? My arms slowly slid forward from the sides of tub to try and stretch out my legs. I stood up on shaky legs and stumbled over Leo who just snorted and mumbled, "No, no, I can juggle more badgers than this Calypso. I promise, babe." I rolled my eyes at him.

Putting it nicely, I looked like hell frozen, thawed out and then reheated in a crappy microwave. Not my best look, but hey, I can pull it off a lot better than most. I shook two pills out of the bottle and popped them in. I took a slurp of water to wash it down and then sighed at my reflection. What was I doing here? I loved Leo, but he and I living together as roommates was a horrible idea. He was the only one who even had the space though and that was his jackass sofa. Neither of us were getting any work done and most nights, we ended up drinking until dawn and woke up like this. It was a bad habit and I did not want to relapse again. "Stop it," I growled. Looking back into my mirror image my eyes seemed dead. I looked down and nudged Leo until I deemed him close enough to the waking world to leave him alone. I then plodded out of the small bathroom into the living room and then into Leo's kitchen to see if he had any food (not likely). I couldn't cook very well but I could make some badass blue pancakes, like my mom used to.

I had just started to add the blue food dye when I heard Leo grunting. I smiled and took a deep breath to shout, "Good morning my beautiful Sleeping Beauty." He shuffled in giving me the biggest glare imaginable and told me to go screw myself. I grinned and turned back to the griddle and said, "I would if I could, man." He plopped his head down and keened, "CALYPSOOOOOOOO....." "If you want to see her that much man, go see her. Gods!", I retorted. His eyes gleamed as he jumped up and then tripped over his own feet. I blinked. "Now I remember why I never stand up quickly after a night of drinking," he said as his voice was muffled by the carpet underfoot. I snorted at him and just said, "Breakfast's done. Get your lazy ass off the floor or I'll run and get Grover to eat your portion." 

His eyes peeked over the counter like a lion stalking a gazelle. Leo flailed his arms around wildly, chanting, "Come to me, my precious, come to me." I just stared and shook my head. As I got up and made my way to his couch, I called over my shoulder, "Doctor Who okay?" Leo whooped with excitement and walked quickly to the TV with his plate in hand. He looked at me inquisitively, "Hey, what episode were we on?" He logged into Netflix and as we clicked onto the icon of the TARDIS, we both screamed and held each other. He started sobbing as I just whispered, "Doomsday. Leo, I don't know if I can handle this right now man." He sniffled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand before looking with determination at the TV. "I am a Whovian and so help me Gods, I will handle this fricking episode!" he stated. "Alright man, alright, it's only the episode where Rose is lef-" "STOP IT MAN. I do not want to hear it. Let's just pretend everything goes smoothly,ok?" Leo interrupted frantically. 

~45 agonizing minutes later~

We had just finished the last tub of ice cream and finally staunched our tears when Leo's phone rang. "Hello?", he sniffled into it. He glanced sideways at me and then the TV. He cleared his throat and laughed hesitantly before saying, "No babe, I'm not crying, everything is totally tubular." I stared at him. I knew he couldn't handle the pressure. Leo's brow began to sweat. "What? Haha, no sweetie, yes I promise," Leo bit his lip. The doorbell rang and Leo looked at it with his eyes shining in relief before speaking hurriedly into the phone, "Hey, someone's at the door. I'll call you later. Loveyoubye." Leo bounded to the door as I leaned back into the couch, chuckling at his antics. I heard Leo say, "Aw man!" and I smirked, knowing that Calypso must be at the door. My eyes snapped open as I heard a familiar Italian accent drifting through the apartment like sinful honey.

My head popped forward at the same time that he walked in and it seemed like time had frozen. "YOU!" we both shouted in anger. Calypso and Leo's eyebrows slowly disappeared into their hairlines. "I'm guessing you two know each other?", Calypso voiced. I grimaced and said, "Unfortunately." Nico glared at me and said, "We were both living in the same dorm at the time of the fire." Leo remarked, "Well it seems that you too have more going for you guys than just that." Nico smirked and retorted, "Oh the first time I met him, poor Percy here was just in a precarious situation." My eyes widened. Don't do this to me man! I began to say something when Nico interrupted with ," Percy had on a Tigger onesie. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. My cheeks flared red as I tried to discredit him but both Leo and Calypso just started to laugh, holding their stomachs. Leo wiped away a tear to chuckle, "Oh man, that must have been quite a sight, phew!" My eyes turned pleadingly to Calypso but she just snorted me off. Yeah, she didn't always jump to my defense first thing because of our past. I kinda accidentally forgot her at an island when we went on a vacation together for our 3 month anniversary and ever since then, she just can't trust me the same. Yeah, I don't blame her.

Leo quit laughing as he turned to Nico and asked, "So what brings you here man?" Nico turned and deferred to Calypso, "Calypso is actually an old childhood friend of mine and when she heard that I needed to find an apartment and roommate, she suggested that I come to you." Leo took Nico by the shoulder and led him to the couch to say, "Quite right of my lady to do so, in fact. I'm on maintenance crew at a couple of buildings so I know a lot of inside deals.What kind of apartment are you looking for?" Nico thought and said, "Well, I want it close to campus and near The Uncommon Cup, because I got a job there. Oh, they're hiring by the way if you know anyone who needs a job." My eyes sharpened and my nostrils flared. I NEED MONEY. BADLY. I needed to replace everything from my apartment for one thing but I knew my mom needed help with her money. I had gotten a scholarship to NYU for my art but that didn't make my mom suddenly rich. I turned my attention back to the deal bargaining going on. It looked like Leo was throwing down some pretty nice shit for Nico to look that greedy. "There is a nice view, you could grow flowers, it's really close to everything and like 3 blocks away from The Uncommon Cup," Leo began, "But I have 1 condition for you if you want this apartment." Leo looked suspicious. Why did he look so suspicious? Leo continued, "You have to take Percy here on as your roommate." I stared. Nico stared. Calypso stared. The frozen Doctor onscreen stared. And then we all began to start talking at once. Well, except The Doctor, I suppose. Leo shouted, "ENOUGH!!! It's final." Nico just looked at me cryptically before abruptly standing up and shaking Leo's hand, "Deal." Leo said, "Excellent!" with a smile on his face and then showed Calypso and Nico to the door with a promise to see her later.

Right as he shut the door, I pressed him up against the wall and just screamed, "EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!." All Leo could do is quiver in fear and say, "Spot on Dalek impression Percy, you almost made me pee. But Percy, come on man, you know I love you man but living here with me just isn't healthy for you." His eyes crinkled as I dropped my arms. "Yeah, but I don't wanna live with the sexy Italian.", I mumbled. Leo's face was incredulous, "Can you even hear what you just said man! Gah!!" I looked at him and pouted. "I can tell that we both want to have a relationship and I just can't handle that right now, Leo. Besides, I don't know anything about him. You don't know anything about him! HE COULD BE IN THE DRUG CARTEL, LEO!!!" my voice gradually rose in pitch and volume. Leo pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "Aí, gringo, the Cartel is in Mexico, sí?" I nodded. He was right. "I just don't want you to have a relapse man. You're doing so great." Leo speaks softly. I stared at him for a few moments before dropping my head and conceding defeat. "Alright." I sighed. Leo crowed and pumped his fists in the air. "But you are helping me to buy all of the DW DVDs I lost, ok?" I smirked. Leo's face looked at me in horror as he screamed NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! and I looked on with glee. Things were finally starting to look up.


End file.
